what's next

waiting for change, waiting to be the next big thing, waiting for a purpose in life...

always waiting

best christmas yet

Somehow I survived through exams and did fairly well. Once all that stress was over it was time to get into the Christmas Cheer. This year has definitely been the best Christmas holiday and it has barely even started! This is probably the first year that I have not wanted any presents at all. This year was all about the giving and appreciating everything I already have.

My poor puppy, we force her to wear ridiculous antlers then take pictures with us because it's cute! I made up for it by buying her a stocking and a few presents haha. My best friend left for Singapore yesterday so we celebrated Christmas a little early, this year will be the first without her but I hope I'll manage. 

Then I had a few ladies over for a Christmas party/ gift exchange/ ugly christmas sweater party. We had a good time with some good laughs. 

My favorite thing this year was shopping for "the perfect gift" for everyone then wrapping them the nicest I could. I also made and decorated some pretty cute Christmas cookies that tasted pretty good.

The top gifts on my list included cologne, mittens, ski passes and bath and bodyworks goodies. But my best gift by far was volunteering at the hospital on Thursday, made me feel super good. Today my boyfriend and I exchanged gifts. He got me the cutest hoodie with a shirt and a belt. I was impressed with the presents he chose. He did a good job this year!

I am so excited for tomorrow I can't sleep!

 On another note, I've really been missing my Grandpa lately. This was a picture of us last Christmas. He wasn't doing so well but he was happy.

 Grandpa,

You were here for Christmas with me last year. It feels like just yesterday. Still can't believe that I won't be seeing you in the morning and that I won't be coming over to visit you every week at your home. 

Merry Christmas Grandpa

I hope you get everything you want for Christmas. 

Watch over Grandma for me so she gets home safely.

I love you.

i love you

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and
laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say
the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You
expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away.
You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't
exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have
a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do
the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so
much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity
that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at
times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much
work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we
are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn't her calming you down when you yell. It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard,
right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't
her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear
more presentable.

It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her
showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not her saying all the right things
or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling
you everything is going to be alright. It's her standing there, admitting she's just as scared
as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've
unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said,
here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As
long as you have it.

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't
cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the
future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward
anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And
it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is

a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.

-Andrew Landon

too busy to blog

FML 

so busy. . . I don't know what happened. November came and went and I missed it completely. Now- finals in 2 weeks, 2 jobs, volunteering, babysitting, Christmas shopping and studying, studying, studying! No friends, no time, No Life. So stressed about EVERYTHING. As soon as my last exam is over I'm getting drunk and buying myself everything I need to make myself happy. Then I need to plan a well-deserved vacation.

Here's my TO-DO List:

• Go to physio
• Buy presents for: mommy, daddy, mj, kevin, kendra, kendra, spring(don't judge me, I love my dog), dana
• quit my job :|
• plan a x-mas party, if I have time
• study for: Stats 213, Knes 303, Psych 205, Knes 339- in that order    
• work with kendra on our project for the new year :) 
• enjoy the holidays :)

Product Review

MAC Cremesheen Lipstick: Creme Cup

  

Day 1: Self portrait- share basics/make an intro

 up close and personal

 Name
Bryanne

Birthday

January 31

Height

5'2''

Eye Color 

Brown

Hair Color
Dark, dark brown, pretty much black.

Things that make you happy

Sunny days, friendship, my puppy, date nights, presents, doing well in school, being healthy, being in-love, feeling good about myself and knowing that everyone I love is doing well.

Weaknesses

Being a perfectionist and not making up my mind.

Hobbies

Watching sports, working out, spending time with my friends.

Have you changed in the past 5 years?
In some ways astronomically, but in other ways not really.

Significant other?

Yes, he’s my best friend.

Best advice to give to our youth?

Nothing is impossible.

What are you attracted to?

A nice guy that loves and protects me.

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Buy a house and pay off my loans.

3 words that describe you

Determined, optimistic, fun 

Product Review

NARS Lipgloss: Turkish Delight 

I love this colour, it’s such a pink, bubblegum, girly colour. Perfect for how I was feeling today. From everything I have read, this is the secret to getting the perfect, pale pink, Kim Kardashian lips. It’s also the perfect pink gloss to apply on top of any other pink or nude colour, for that finishing touch. It is quite sheer but the colour comes out beautifully. Pick this bad boy up at any Sephora. 

The only downside I had is that I used it so much it made my lips so dry! Also, it comes with a bit of a price commitment- $24 for a tube of gloss, which I usually wouldn’t spend more than $5 for. It’s not something I would buy regularly but it’s nice for a treat or to give for a gift. Here are a few pictures that I tried to get as accurate as possible to show the true colour. 

Hmm a blog...

I’m going to give this a try.